Today it has been 14 days since Ryan has left. I can’t believe it’s been two whole weeks! So far the first week was the easiest and it has been getting progressively harder since. I’m just wondering when that point will come where my sadness will stop growing. I don’t want it to get worse and worse over the next 5 ½ months. I guess this is normal. I wrote to Ryan saying:
So pretty much ever since Sunday I’ve been depressed. I feel like it’s hitting me all at once. I’m kinda Ro-pressed … nothing clinical … just not back to being myself again. But that makes me think. In the bible it says that two shall become one and since we are almost to that stage of marriage do you think its ridiculous to think of us as emotionally one. Either way if you do think so or not that’s how I feel .. I feel like we are one. Which helps me understand why I’m sad. If we are one then technically half of me is missing in you. That makes complete since because that is exactly how I feel. I feel like half of me is missing. That’s pretty much the only way to describe it. God designed you for me so I naturally have a Ryan void in my heart when you are away. I mean I still feel your love because it is so constant but well you know, your going through it too! In this long way I guess I’m trying to say I might not get back to “normal” for awhile. But I promise not to let it get the best of me!
I know Ryan sent out some letters last Thursday so I am anxiously awaiting his letters. Then I will have an address to send him everything I have written. I have about 5 super long 8 + paged letters and a few pictures that I am going to send his way … oh yes and one coloring page.
No comments:
Post a Comment